Several nights ago I had a tender and teary conversation with Dallan about the resurrection. I've been taught that we are resurrected with a perfect body. In the past that has been such a reassurance to me, but now I find myself wishing that I could have Caleb back the same way he was when he died. I've never felt like Caleb was broken or needed to be fixed. I loved his little body just the way it was.
I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the privilege of caring for Caleb as a child in his precious little mortal body.
I know the time we had with him on the earth was priceless.
I don't know if I'll ever feel like I had enough time with him here.
As I've reflected on our time together as a family on earth, I've realized I'll never have any of my boys back that same way I have them now. My contemplative 12 year old Josh, 10 year old passionate Matthew and 5 year old sparkly Mitchell will never be the same way I have them now.
It is a rare gift we are given to experience these precious souls as children in mortality.
I want to soak in every minute with my greatest gifts because I know they won't be little boys forever.
In the eternities I know I won't long to have my children back in a particular physical state. I believe I knew my children before our time together on the earth. I think our mortal experiences sweeten the relationship that has always existed.
But for now, I want to soak up these precious mortal moments with each child and tuck them in special place in my heart where they will stay with me for all eternity.
(Mitchell on a recent trip to feed the ducks)
