Today Caleb is going in for his tracheostomy. It really has been an agonizing decision, and I've had many tender moments in those quiet night time hours. Caleb has been sick for the past week. He hasn't been keeping his feedings down, and he has really been struggling to breathe. Those moments when he's turning blue,and looking panicked are the moments that really make me think that a trach is necessary. The doctor is aware that he's sick, but he still wants to go ahead with the surgery. He thinks it will just get more difficult the more we get into RSV season. We were not able to get the g tube scheduled because there weren't any surgeons available, so Caleb will be getting his trach and tubes in his ears today. I've been making arrangements for my other boys, cleaning my house, packing my bags, and working on Christmas cards- and now that I'm all ready, I'm afraid. I'm afraid that it's going to be overwhelming to take care of Caleb in a new way. I'm afraid I won't hear his voice again. I'm afraid that I won't be able to bathe him the same way. I'm afraid the Caleb will be hurting, and I'm afraid that my other boys are worried. I'm afraid of going back to the hospital because it has always been such a dramatic experience. I'm afraid that Caleb will be afraid.
Caleb's surgery is at 1:00 PM today. I'm praying that Heavenly Father will replace my fear with faith and that all will be well! I love you my sweet Caleb.
14 comments:
oh april, your blog brought me to tears, you are such a sweet and tender mother, I will be praying for you and your family and especially little Caleb today @ 1:00.
oh my heart hurts for you. all of those fears are SO real. i have felt them too. allow heavenly father to wrap his arms around you, caleb and the rest of your family as you go through this. i'm here for you. xo becky
Isaiah 41:10
Fear thou not; for I [am] with thee: be not dismayed; for I [am] thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
I will definitely say a prayer for you and Caleb and your family today. Everything will go exactly the way the Lord intend it to. (hugs)
I hope things go well April! You're such a great mom.
April, my heart is with you. I pray that comfort will be wrapped snuggly around you and your family. I wish Caleb all the best and a quick recovery. My prayers are with you today.
April-
Yet again I am in tears reading your sweet blog. Our prayers are with you and your family. We love you!
-DanaLee
April, You can count on our prayer to be with you and your family through this difficult time. We love you!!
Once again a very touching post. April - you are an amazing, strong mother. Our thoughts are prayers are with You and your family and especailly for little precious Caleb! Love you!
You and your family are in our prayers. Anything you need, just call!
Wow, good luck today. Know that we are all praying for you and that all will be well with him. I know that you are such a wonderful mother and that any changes that may come, you will be able to adapt to and everything will be fine.
Our thoughts and prayers are with Caleb, you and your family.
Hi sweetie! Our thoughts and prayers are with Caleb, you and your family.
Hi sweetie! Our thoughts and prayers are with Caleb, you and your family.
April, my prayers are with you, Caleb, and your family. You are such an inspiration to all of the mothers who know you or read your blog. The love you have for your family shines thru every post, most of which brings tears to my eyes and pulls at my heart strings. I hope all went well today, and goes well in days to come.
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