Changing seasons!

Everyone must take time to sit and watch the leaves turn...
-- Elizabeth Lawrence
(photograph of the Smith farm in New York, taken by Mom and Dad Moody)

"The woods are full of fairies; the sea is full of fish; the trees are full of golden leaves; let's make an autumn wish." I haven't been ready for the leaves to be gone and for the cold to settle in. Most of my leaves have fallen now and there is a hush in the air before Winter arrives. I love the magic that the holidays bring, but today I'm taking just a minute to wish the golden days of Autumn would last just a little bit longer. I want a few more days to breathe the sweet air and watch the leaves fall almost like they are in slow motion. I want to watch my boys play in their raked up piles and to see their hair sparkle in the sunshine. I want the streets to be lined with yellow leaves that swirl in a greeting when I drive through them. So I've gathered up a bit of Autumn and I've put it in my pockets.
So now I'm saying good bye to Fall as I create Christmas cards and decorate my tree! I'm preparing for a Winter indoors with Caleb recovering from surgery, and days that are too cold to go outside. My wish is that on those days when the holidays are over and I'm tired of being home bound- I'll take a pinch of Autumn out of my pocket and sprinkle it in my heart- and I know I'll warm right up.


"If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall."
Author: ~Nadine Stair

Christmas lists

Making a Christmas list can be quite a chore! Sometimes it's hard to know what to ask for. With 6 simple gifts carefully thought through and bought, we think this Christmas will teach us a lot!

This is how I am shopping for my older boys this year (Mitchell will be thrilled with some play dough, and Caleb will love some new v-neck shirts and a few bibs!)

Something you want
And something you need
Something to wear
And something to read
A Christmas surprise for this Holiday Season
And a meaningful gift to remind you the reason

* Most of these gifts will be really simple! We're going to have a family home evening where we talk about needs,wants, and the reason for the season. Then I'm going to show them our list to help them consider their Christmas expectations. I am hoping this list makes it seem special to receive needed things like socks or a pack of drawing paper but still leaves some room for a "want" and a little surprise. I always like to give them each a new book to read, and for a meaningful gift I think I am going to use some frames I have to frame their favorite scripture, a picture of the temple, or the monthly themes for the new year in primary. I hope you all have fun shopping and creating things for the people you love!

Thanksgiving

I'm thankful for....

Home

Caleb is home with us tonight! We spent the morning getting all of his equipment set up and his supplies organized. When everything is running, it sounds a little bit like a subway station! We picked Caleb up this afternoon and he looked so cute wearing clothes again! He always looks a little bit sicker when he's just sitting there in his diaper with wires and tubes everywhere! On the counter we found that another therapist left her name and phone number to call if we ever needed help with Caleb while we went to church. I was so touched.
Caleb did well on the car ride home and is doing well in his cozy bed. We are so happy to be all together again. One thing I am feeling tender about is his ability to be portable. Right now he really needs the humidifier and oxygen so he is quite confined to his little room. It feels like we are back to where we were when he was a new baby and didn't leave the nursery for 3 months. I know that as time goes on, we'll be able to see what Caleb is capable of, and all of his new cares will be a normal part of our routine. Life is like that. You just adapt and find joy in every day. We're all together, Caleb can breath better, and that makes me happy.

Special visitors

Caleb was moved from the ICU into his own room yesterday! Dallan spent the morning with him, then took a break to go to the BYU vs. Utah game. He met Josh and Matthew at the game then brought them back to see Caleb. Caleb was sad to hear the score- but he was so happy to see his brothers!



There are more details and pictures of Caleb's progress on his blog.

A cozy little book nook

I love children's books! They are my fetish! I'd rather buy a new book than new shoes or a fancy purse! On my nightstand you'll usually find a pile of books that I checked out of the Juvenile literature section. In my library box, you'll find lots of picture books to read aloud and an assortment of chapter books for my school age children to curl up and read. I recently created a blog where I and some fellow book lover friends can share what we're reading. We would love to hear about any juvenile books you have on your nightstand, what books the children in your life enjoy, and what books you read for fun! http://cozylittlebooknook.blogspot.com
let me know if you'd like to be a contributor!

Faith instead of fear

Caleb had so much courage today! Caleb had a difficult morning because he still wasn't feeling well. When we got to the hospital and checked him in, the doctor ordered a chest x ray because he wasn't getting enough oxygen. Sure enough, he's fighting pneumonia! They all agreed that going forward with the surgery was in his best interest, so we changed him into his hospital clothes and wheeled him down the long hallway with the anesthesiologist. Saying good bye was the hardest part. I just love that little boy so much. Dallan said the last words from his mouth were "Play hard Max Hall... go BYU!" The anesthesiologist called to tell me that his intubation was smooth, and that the surgery was going well. It took a little over an hour, but everything was "smooth sailing" as our doctor put it. He told us we could see him in about 10 minutes--- but we ended up waiting for almost an hour and a half! I could sit still for a few minutes at a time then would have to pace the hallway. We were so happy to finally see him. He looked so much better than we thought he would. His color already looked so much better! We spent the evening with him, then got him all tucked in and cozy before we left to get some sleep. He still isn't feeling well, but hopefully he'll be on the mend. Right now he still isn't breathing on his own. He is being ventilated through the trach. Hopefully, his little body will remember what to do! Dallan and I have 4 training classes- 2 hours each, and then we have to take care of Caleb on our own for 12 hours before we can bring him home. I am so thankful for sweet Caleb. I am so thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who stands by our side in our most tender moments. And I'm so thankful for all of the kind words you have all shared with me. Thank you for helping me to feel faith instead of fear! Over the next few days, I'll keep Caleb's blog updated with his progress! www.winkfromheaven.blogspot.com

Right before we took Caleb to the hospital


Waiting for surgery

We got lots of comments about our obvious preference for BYU



After surgery

Trach day

Today Caleb is going in for his tracheostomy. It really has been an agonizing decision, and I've had many tender moments in those quiet night time hours. Caleb has been sick for the past week. He hasn't been keeping his feedings down, and he has really been struggling to breathe. Those moments when he's turning blue,and looking panicked are the moments that really make me think that a trach is necessary. The doctor is aware that he's sick, but he still wants to go ahead with the surgery. He thinks it will just get more difficult the more we get into RSV season. We were not able to get the g tube scheduled because there weren't any surgeons available, so Caleb will be getting his trach and tubes in his ears today. I've been making arrangements for my other boys, cleaning my house, packing my bags, and working on Christmas cards- and now that I'm all ready, I'm afraid. I'm afraid that it's going to be overwhelming to take care of Caleb in a new way. I'm afraid I won't hear his voice again. I'm afraid that I won't be able to bathe him the same way. I'm afraid the Caleb will be hurting, and I'm afraid that my other boys are worried. I'm afraid of going back to the hospital because it has always been such a dramatic experience. I'm afraid that Caleb will be afraid.
Caleb's surgery is at 1:00 PM today. I'm praying that Heavenly Father will replace my fear with faith and that all will be well! I love you my sweet Caleb.

Family picture

I remember the night I had an ultra sound and found out that our baby Caleb had significant problems. We were faced with the unbearable possibility that our baby might not be born alive. Our first glimpses of him we were filled with worry and deeper heartache than I had ever felt before. The next day I remember telling my mom, "this isn't how I imagined my family picture." I didn't imagine hanging a family picture on my wall that had someone missing. I also hadn't pictured a child who's time may be limited and whose challenges would be severe. It wasn't that I didn't want a disabled child. I wanted Caleb more than anything in the world. I had the opportunity to voice how much we wanted Caleb in many of those early doctor appointments when they presented our options. I pleaded with Heavenly Father for the opportunity to take care of our baby no matter how big his challenges were. We wanted Caleb with all of our hearts, his circumstances just weren't what I had pictured. I remember that phrase This isn't how I imagined my family picture every time I put a new photograph in a frame, add a picture to a scrap book, or hang a portrait on my wall. My heart is filled with so much gratitude every time I look at my sweet little family inside those frames. It wasn't what I had pictured, it is so much sweeter than I could ever have imagined. I would never have pictured how proud I would feel of Caleb for his courage, faith and patience. I never pictured how full my heart would feel as I watch my other little boys lovingly watch over him. I never pictured how my sweet little boy, whose time may be limited and whose challenges are severe, would touch the deepest parts of our hearts and change our lives forever. Just yesterday Matthew told me, I just get such a big loving feeling inside whenever I'm around Caleb- and I just have to hug him.
I took our little family into the studio for some last minute pictures before Caleb goes in for surgery. The pictures aren't fancy, but nothing could be more beautiful to me. I would never have pictured the exquisit delight I would feel in hanging photographs of theses precious souls on my wall.

A little prayer for Caleb

Caleb has had increased complications with his breathing ever since he was hospitalized last Spring for RSV. He obstructs his breathing often throughout the day, and when he's agitated we often have to hold his mouth open for him so that he can get a good breath. I scheduled Caleb for a tracheostomy surgery a few weeks ago because we wanted to see how we felt after taking a step in that direction. We've been really prayerful about whether or not this is right for Caleb. It has been a really difficult decision because Caleb has really good days, and then has really challenging days. On the good days, a trach doesn't seem necessary at all, but on the hard days, I can hardly bear to see how hard he works to breathe. Overall we've decided that a trach has a lot of potential to improve Caleb's quality of life, so we've decided to go ahead with the surgery which is scheduled for next Wednesday. We are also waiting to hear back about the possibility of doing a g tube surgery at the same time. My heart is so tender as I contemplate taking this step and changing the way we've taken care of Caleb up to this point. But I know Heavenly Father will wrap us all up in his arms and help us to have courage. If you have a quiet moment, please say a little prayer for our sweet boy! If you'd like a peek at what Caleb's been up to, take a peek at his blog www.winkfromheaven.blogspot.com

Mormon Synchronized Swimming

A ward talent show at it's best!

When you were little stories

Tonight Josh snuggled his 8 year old body into my lap and Matthew dangled down from the top bunk- both were begging me for when you were little stories. They couldn't stop giggling when I told them how my little sister gave her school teacher cookies made with salt instead of sugar without my mom knowing! They thought it was so funny that the same sister gave a red hot pepper to a neighbor and told her to take a big bite because it was so tasty! They loved hearing about the time someone had an accident on a family trip so we had to stop and rinse the underwear etc. at a rest stop then dangle it all out the window to dry by the time we reached our destination. They also liked hearing about the infamous argument between my brother and sister- one who insisted he could put ice cream in the oven and the other who would see that happen over her dead body!
They also liked hearing about the time I had to put my head down in class because I couldn't stop talking, or the time I chewed on my tongue for a whole day at school just to the teacher would say, "Go spit out your gum" and I could say "I don't have any gum, I'm chewing on my tongue!" Thanks to my 9 siblings for endless story material. It was so fun not only to be the mom tonight, but to be a regular kid with my boys.

Nesting

On a sunny Fall day before the cold settled in, Matthew raked a big pile of leaves, then he sat right in the middle, and TA DA..... pulled out an egg!

Political Analyst

Josh was so interested in the presidential election this year! As soon as he got home from school he was watching the numbers on the Internet. At dinner, he could only eat a few bites before running to the computer to see what color the states were turning. He cried-- really cried when his candidate didn't win. At least he felt better when he found out that he witnessed a historical event that would forever be remembered in our country.

Turkey Pox

Matthew brought home a turkey art project today and asked, "What disease does my turkey have.... TURKEY POX! He drew little red dots all over his turkey, and on each of the four feathers he wrote something he was thankful for: video games, games, the toilet, & ME(himself)! What depth!